Bad Street Brawler

I remember that moment when I first fired up Bad Street Brawler on my dad's Commodore 64 and wondered what exactly the game was trying to tell me. Characters flashed across the screen that looked like they were created by someone who'd seen Double Dragon but preferred not to overcomplicate things.

Bad Street Brawler was released in 1987 by Beam Software — an Australian studio with solid ports under its belt, but this one felt more like a quick ride on the beat 'em up craze wave. The game came out on MS-DOS, but you might know it by other names: on Commodore 64 it was called Bop'N'Rumble, on ZX Spectrum it was Street Hassle. The core is the same everywhere — you walk from left to right and bash whatever moves.

The gameplay is stripped down to its bare bones. Your brawler walks down the street, enemies rush at him, you mash the attack button. Movement is stiff, collisions sometimes baffling, and enemy variety... well, it exists. Classic street punks are here alongside characters you pause for a moment wondering if you should even hurt them — there are elderly ladies, for instance, who won't be shamed and give as good as they get. Whether they're actual villains or just disgruntled citizens, the game won't bother explaining. That's really the dry humor you'll walk away with, whether the creators intended it or not.

Bad Street Brawler isn't bad for the reasons you'd expect. It's not really about the graphics — for 1987 they looked average, not catastrophic. The problem is pacing and depth. Double Dragon, which inspired it, had rhythm, gradual trick unlocks, a feeling of well-timed hits. Here it's more about mashing one button with occasional movement. Nothing that'll keep you going longer than ten minutes unless nostalgia's playing a role.

Today you'll play it if you want a quick trip back to when beat 'em ups on PC were still searching for their identity. As a historical curiosity — and proof of how quickly developers back then jumped on the bandwagon — it has its value. You can breeze through it in your browser in half an hour, you won't get frustrated, and nothing will stick with you. But at least you know that old ladies on the street were never as innocent as they looked.