Skull & Crossbones

Year 1991, I'm sitting at a monitor with an orange phosphor display, and something that was supposed to be pirate music is coming out of a tiny speaker. Skull & Crossbones from Domark was an arcade port and by home PC standards of the time it was a solid piece of action — though with that arcade toughness that doesn't go easy on the coins.

It's a beat 'em up set in the world of pirates, specifically in that full-color version of the Caribbean where conquistadors, skeletons, ninjas and who knows what else all mix together. The plot is basically an excuse: an evil sorcerer stole your treasure and princess, and you as a pirate captain go through various ships, fortresses and other locations smashing everything in your path with a sword. You could also play it two-player at once, which was a bonus point back then.

The controls are straightforward — attack, jump, combos. Kind of like Double Dragon, but with a cutlass instead of fists. But that's where the first catch comes in: porting from arcade to home PC was no art form in 1991 and Skull & Crossbones felt it firsthand. Enemies come in waves, their AI is sparse and repetitive, and difficulty ramps up more by throwing numbers at you than offering any tactical challenge. Still, it has momentum. Short ten-minute sessions are bearable.

What aged worst about the game is the visual side of the PC version. Animations are choppy, the color palette is dull, and the music hovers somewhere between mechanical whistling and buzzing. Anyone who played the original arcade could only complain. On the other hand — for 1991 and the hardware it ran on, this was normal. I remember arguing with a friend back then about which captain each of us was playing, and that was the whole point of the evening.

Today, Skull & Crossbones is for those who like short arcade sessions without having to think. No depth, no story to sink your teeth into — pure action with a pirate coat of paint. If the beat 'em up genre suits you and you know what you're getting into, you'll have a pleasant thirty minutes with it. Just don't expect Sid Meier's Pirates on your wrist.