Bolera

A bowling game without great ambitions, but with one fundamental problem: nobody knows exactly what it's called. Bolera, Bowlera, Bowler — catalogs from the nineties weren't sure. Somehow symbolic of a piece of software that came into being quietly and exists in so many versions and renamings that today only those who happened to install it from an old CD know about it.

It's a typical bowling simulation for DOS, the kind that was being made around the turn of the eighties and nineties. You line up your ball on the lane, choose your power and angle, and try to knock down as many pins as possible. The game tracks the physics of the ball's movement, bounces, and random skids the way a high school physics teacher imagined they worked — solidly, but without much precision. It's not realism, more like realism's approval stamp.

The controls are simple, which is both good and bad. A few keys, a few numbers, and that's it. But it's missing that friction, that drag, that spin — the things that make bowling a sport. Instead you've got something more like a straightforward algorithm. Low-polygon graphics show pins and lanes in color combinations that are more functional than inspiring. The sounds are honestly synthetic — clicks, impacts, the crashing of pins tumbling like someone tossing dice into a plastic cup.

In the nineties, this was enough. Bowling was fun at the arcade, so a computer version deserved attention on its own. But Bolera (or whatever it is) is neither a good simulator nor anything that entertains you like an arcade game. It's just mediocrity without a sharp edge — more playable than a boring physics textbook, less fun than anything else you can run in DOS.

It's only worth playing as a curiosity. It's not a bad game, it's not a good game either. It's a pretty forgotten game that today has its value mainly because so little is known about it. If you have a grudge against Microsoft or want to experience bowling educational material in pixels, it's here. Otherwise, grab anything else.